How to not be a Pinball D*ckhead in 2025: Week 1, pinball schmos + Manufacturers

Look, the world is changing. The erosion of the middle class, the emergence of economic destabilizers like AI and globalization, wars raging on every continent – it’s enough to make you wonder what is in your control to change. Unfortunately for you, all of that is out of your hands – in fact, we’ll probably all end up dying in some kind of robot or nuclear mutant war by the start of the next decade – but there is still one thing left to control: what sort of pinball steward you will be. (for the remaining time we have left.)

This is the start of a short series we’re doing on behavior and trends in the pinball community. Will it piss you off? Honestly, that’s not the goal! HOpefuly we’ll all have some laughs, take this for what it is (fun + educational) and come to the realization that pinball is a pretty dope and peaceful hobby.

Unfortunately, many voices in the pinball community would have you believe that our hobby isn’t a place of peace, but another battleground for dumbass opinions and general bad behavior. Fortunately, this is not true. Whether you’re a manufacturer, a pinball “personality”, an arcade owner, or just a general pinball schmo like me, here are the ways to not be a pinball dickhead in 2025.

How to not be a dickhead as a normal pinball schmo

*Pictured: Guy not being a dickhead and winning a tournament.*

Look, I was born into this world a pinball nothing and I’ll leave this world a pinball nothing and in between? Yes, more nothing. But that’s good! I always just wanted to be someone who enjoyed this hobby with no strings attached. I like to go to my local spot, blast a J, and then turn off my brain. Pinball is perfect for that, but sometimes that can be hard to remember when it feels like everybody is incredibly online and has to have an opinion on everything.

So, let’s say you’re like me. You like pinball and that’s about it. You want some community, but the online world has left you wanting. How can you prevent this world from breaking you? Let’s get into how not to be a dickhead as a normal pinball schmo.

Be grateful for free games

Lately it’s been easy to be pissed at pinball if you want to be. Rising prices across the board, AI playfields, and fly-by-night pinball companies just tryna rip you off, right?!?! Well, sure. There is that part of it. But I always tell people: pinball costs exactly what you want it to.

I don’t buy new games, even if it was an option for me at my pay grade (it’s not), I wouldn’t because I like on-location play. We’ve gone over the social reasons why (get out of your house and say hey to someone you freak), but there’s another reason: FREE GAMES EXIST.

As pinball people, we get free games when we play good. That’s a big deal. Free games are what separate us from the rest of the booger eaters (video game guys) at the arcade. No matter how many quarters they pop into that giant alien shooter game, they ain’t never walking away with a freebie.

Unlike you, big daddy, who gets big games whenever he reaches that threshold set by every other person who has put hands on that machine. Isn’t that dope? Like, you have a measuring stick for your skills that can result in a fuckin FREE game. I was thinking about this the other day and I literally can’t think of another hobby where being good results in free play. Something to think about.

Get offline

*Pictured: This guy being online while also being surrounded by pinball machines. SMDH*

Is everyone on Facebook/Pinside/4pinballChan a bad person? Of course not – but there’s something about being an extremely online member of a community that starts to wear at you. You won’t immediately change, but the daily reading of stuff worrying about the BOM on pinball machines, or debates about IP, or whatever – it does start to morph you. Or I should say, it morphs me.

The solution: don’t be so online. Yes, even if it means that you interact with Nudge less. You know where pinball happens? It’s not on Facebook – it’s at the arcade. It’s time to log off in 2025 – or at the very least slow your social media content stream to a lil’ drizzle. Will you know the exact date and time that pinball bros drops the umpteenth Predator prieview? Well, no. But you will be the first one playing it. Now you tell me which one sounds more fun.

Make more pinball friends

Pinball, for me, is a solitary exercise (for the most part). I like to get out there and play by myself as a form of meditation. That doesn’t mean I don’t have pinball friends. Who counts? Well, yes other pinballers for sure – but also the people you meet out on location. Servers, bartenders, the weird guy who makes everyone uncomfortable by telling stories about his crazy spring break in Daytona in 1987? They’re all part of the rich tapestry of what we call pinball friends.

It is your job to talk to these people. Why? Because it will make you less of a pinball dickhead. Here’s what I mean: when you play pinball it ain’t always about the pinball. Some days you’re going to have it and some days you won’t. On the days you don’t, it’s nice to have some pinball people in your life that can give you some perspective, tell you to laugh at yourself, and say it’s not too serious: it’s only pinball after all.

You know what? They’re right. Ultimately, this world will judge us on the way we make people feel – not the pinball scores we put up. I’m saying this to remind myself as a CHRONIC DICKHEAD, that we need to treat people right. That starts with pinball friends. Go make some.

Need help? We got you.

How to not be a dickhead as a pinball manufacturer

Hey, if we’re taking the piss out of us as players, let’s go ahead and reverse the flow and turn that nozzle of piss onto the thirstiest crew out there: pinball manufacturers. Now let it be known: we love pinball manufacturers for the most part. They’re hardworking dudes who dedicate their lives to making some of the funnest shit to ever exist.

But at the same time, they aren’t immune to becoming dickheads. We’ve seen a couple dickhead trends that we wanted to call out, lest these folks go down the path to dickhead town. Here are our thoughts (respectfully).

Code isn’t a suggestion

*Pictured: Jaws may not have eaten the ball, but at least you could play a whole game on release*

New games need to ship with code. Full stop. My problem with every game that came out last year was that 85% didn’t have playable code the first time I went in. That’s a big deal. First impressions matter. Ask anyone who saw me trip and fall on the bus the first day of 8th grade. I was the big-ass feet guy for the next five years.

Don’t be a big-ass feet guy, pinball manufacturers. We don’t expect the game to ship with COMPLETED code (but oh a man can dream!) but we do need it to be playable. This year’s class of biggest offenders: John Wick, Dune, and (sigh) X-Men. As I write this, X-Men is getting a code tune-up, which is dope because the originality of that layout and the theme deserves it. I wish that it didn’t take a year to get it there.

The most frustrating part? We KNOW they don’t have to do it this way. Look at Kong, which has essentially shipped with fully functioning code. So did Evil Dead by Spooky. Last year, Jaws was the same. Of course we can’t judge people on a Keith Elwin curve, but however that team is developing code alongside the development of the game, uh, can we clone it?

AI art sucks ass so stop using it

Speaking of clones, we’re entering into a new era of cockfuckery when it comes to AI art. The first instance of AI art on a playfield has already occurred, the deeply flawed, deeply shitty Barry O’s BBQ challenge features some craptastic art splattered around the playfield like fecal particles stuck to a porcelain pee hole.

That last sentence was disgusting. It was also written by a human. I’d challenge a Chatgpt to match me in totally gnarly prose any day of the week, and I bet if you talk to an illustrator they’ll say the same thing: they can do it better.

Using AI art on a playfield is now a thing in 2025. While we can’t PROVE that its on the new Harry Potter game or Predator by Pinball Bros, there’s enough evidence there to make us think. And you know what? I hate thinking. It’s one of my least favorite ways to spend my time. And for that, I blame you guys.

Pinball Bros seems especially heinous with this. Their new trailer for predator pinball is littered with all sorts of gross AI bullshit. Stop doing this guys. It makes you look like dickheads.

Dance with the one what brought you (Prioritize location games first)

This is sort of a pre-emptive don’t be a dickhead. It hasn’t come up a ton yet this year, but we have seen some troubling trends.

I don’t know if people know this term, but we used it a lot growing up. Meaning: you should appreciate the people who fuck with you. I think there’s a general desire in pinball to branch out to new audiences. I get that. Hell, Nudge is in some ways based around this very concept. At the same time, you can’t forsake the folks who fuck with you HEAVY and have been since day one.

For pinball manufacturers, that means location players. On location pinball is what will ultimately bless or doom this industry. THe folks that go out every single week and put dollars and quarters into games. That’s why it’s been a bit sad for me to see LE owners and CE owners get their pinball machines well before locations.

Historically, this hasn’t always been true. Locations were often prioritized, not just because of manufacturer’s appreciation for them (they buy every damn game), but because they work as a great testing ground. I remember talking with some of the PR/Marketing folks from Bally at Expo and they told me stories about how great it used to be to go in and do audits of on-location games. All I’m saying is, let’s keep that up. No reason for rich dickheads to get the first games. They’ll be played the same amount whether they get them week 1 or week 20. Keep those suckers for the people.

NEXT WEEK? How to not be a dickhead as a competitive pinball player and How to not be a dickhead as a Pinball Media Member

It’s true. And it’s gonna prob make some people a lil’ pissy! Just the way we like it!

See ya there!