What’s the World’s Greatest Pinball Game to Own and Why is it The Shadow?
Alec Baldwin has bedroom eyes, but only if your bedroom contains the icy glare of a stone-cold psychopath
I’m gonna be honest: We at Nudge are completely biased against owning a pinball machine. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Mostly, it’s because we’re jealous. It’s not on you, at-home pinballers (well it’s on some of you, more on that later). We’re just mostly on-location players. Poor, poor folks who barely have 1,0000 quarters to rub together for beers and games.
So why the heck are we writing about owning a game? Are we complete and utter hypocrites?
First of all, yes, we are hypocrites. It’s a great way to be. Do as I say, not as I do, motherfucker. But number two? Because the pinball market is utter insanity right now. As I type this, there’s a Ghostbusters on Facebook that someone is tryna sell for 20k. Yes, twenty thousand dollars. To play ghostbusters. A pin that, supposedly, is rumored to have a CAD design screw up that makes the flipper gap extra heinous. Paying 20k for that? It’s really sorta unimaginable.
That’s not a knock on Ghostbusters (or the general pin seller community), but it’s just the facts: the pinball marketplace is bazonkers right now and it’s not going anywhere. In fact, it’s gonna get worse. Just this year, Stern upped their prices by a thousand across the board. The secondary market is boomin’, and not in a good way.
Why the H is owning a pinball table so fricken pricey?
Maybe you’re new to the scene and didn’t realize how expensive this crap actually is. Well, I’m sure there are a lot of know-it-all d-bags who would absolutely love to talk your ear off about it on Pinside, so I’m only gonna be brief. I’ll say it again: These are our OPINIONS, but like everything else we publish on Nudge, we believe it to be 100% true. In the last five years, pins have gone up an insane amount. Stuff that was 2k is now 4k+. So why is that?
Honestly? Your guess is as good as mine, but that doesn’t stop people from making “informed” guesses. Most of these people are idiots who are extremely online only so they can spout their terrible political opinions and berate their grandchildren on social media. But hey, maybe you wanna be someone like that. Maybe you wanna just pack it in and be a mouth breather. If that’s the case, we have a quick primer here for ya on how you can sound just like the “experts” when talking about the price of pinball machines.
Stuff you can say about rising pin prices on message boards to sound smart (ranked from most effective to least effective)
Supply chain problems -- this is a smart thing to say to your friends about everything. Late? It’s the supply chain! Terrible hacking cough? Got it from the supply chain. Stole weed from your bud? Whoops, supply chain! What is the supply chain? Who can say? Our best guess is that it’s located somewhere in Pittsburgh.
That’s capitalism! -- Nice one, bro. Yeah, that’s capitalism! Has a great ring to it. The bonus? You can say this even if you’re not sure what “capitalism” actually means. Supply and demand? Sure! Malthusian economics? Hell yeah. This one almost always makes you sound like a republican radio show host, but honestly, for most of the people who use this, that’s a bonus.
If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. -- No shit, Sherlock. Moving on.
If you can’t afford it… -- HURRRRR DURRRRRR. Yeah, we get it. You’re rich, old, and on Facebook. Cool dude! Can’t wait to see more weird pics of you and your weirdly tan third wife in front of the Hard Rock San Antonio sign.
That said, there are some values out there to be had. The biggest value of all? The Shadow. While there may be some things that make the casuals stay away from this absolute sex unit of a pinball machine -- if you’re in the know, you know that this bad boy is the one to add to your collection. It’s captivated us so much that Nudge is willing to trade you free advertising forever if you’ll give us a Shadow Pinball machine for the Nudge World HQ in Detroit. Yeah, that good. Let’s do this. Here’s why you wanna forego buying a JJP 20ker in favor of something you can probably find for 3-4k at some point in the near future.
The Shadow has about as beautiful of a playfield as you’re ever going to find
The Shadow was an absolutely terrible movie -- no one is gonna argue otherwise. I mean, the first scene literally has Alec Baldwin murdering people and smoking opium on camera. YES, THIS WAS MEANT FOR KIDS.
That said, the time period it takes place during leads itself to amazing playfield art and Doug Watson (best known for stuff like Attack From Mars and Black Knight 2000) absolutely nailed the art deco aesthetic. From the lit-up playfield to the beautiful-ass yellow taxi and dragon, this stuff rules.
Is there some weird semi-racist stuff too re: Mongols? Yeah, I think there probably is an argument for that. It can be pretty cringey, especially with some of the callouts. That’s no good. We’re not “here for that.” That said, the Chinese takeout menu-style fonts along the bottom of the apron look amazing, and the upper playfield has a minimalist aesthetic that totally works. It’s just a great integration of style that goes way beyond the theme of the movie. This is a game that feels like it could be in a speakeasy in 1933. That’s a helluva feat for someone who created this pin in the midst of the absolute khaki office world of 1994.
OK, I gotta stop talking about this. I’m starting to lather myself up and absolutely NO ONE wants that.
The theme isn’t that bad. It’s goofy as hell.
Yeah, that just happened. Tho it’s a safe bet to assume that after the whole Rust debacle, this will no longer be considered the worst movie of Alec Baldwin’s career?
Lookit all the wild crap they piled into this thing!
The Shadow is definitely a far cry from Glengary Glenross (or his best role -- Jack Doughnaghy on 30 Rock.) but The Shadow isn’t that bad of a time period for the… Baldwinner, the, uh, Alecster, Damn. It’s really hard to make his name not just Alec Baldwin. Anyway, he’s young and good looking and does kinda sell the theme integration for this table.
Those little talking knives? Kinda funny! Tim Curry being all razzamatazz fabulous? Great! The guy who did the voice of the shadow? It’s fine! There’s something weird, wild, and zany about the nineties, and this table is the complete embodiment of that aesthetic. We, for one, love it.
One of the most innovative playfields ever
There’s a lot to unpack here. We won’t go shot by shot
Let’s just hit the highlights. Even if they’re ALL highlights.
Those lil’ knife diverter fuckers
Let’s start with the diverters. The shadow has two extra buttons next to the flippers on each side. Those control the “phurba diverters”. Evidently, a phurba is a talking knife that absolutely fucking hates Alec Baldwin. I watched this movie recently, and I still don’t really get it. Anyway, toss that out. The diverters themselves are awesome, instantly turning two ramps into four. It’s not just a cosmetic thing either, controlling those diverters while keeping your flow is integral to getting good scores on this game. And when you actually start doing it? Hot DAMN does it feel good. We need more diverters in games. Diverters all around!
No effing pop bumpers
You may have noticed this already, but The Shadow is missing something: pops. Controversial opinion incoming: POPS ABSOLUTELY SUUUUUUUUCK DUDE. They increase chaos, slow down flow, and just, well, don’t really do anything for me. I guess the new Stern Godzilla integrates the pops in a cool way (by making them essential for killing kaiju) but other than that? I’m good! The shadow has no pops, thus: SUPERIOR FLOW! It honestly plays kinda like a modern Stern. It’s awesome.
I have this recurring fantasy. I imagine the suits at Bally coming up to Brian Eddy in 1994, right as he’s finishing the initial design and saying, “buh buh buh, buh where the pops?” and then brian eddy just fricking wallops one of those suits in the eye and says, “There’s YOUR POPS.” THE END. I’m gonna put out an open challenge to pinball designers: unless you’re Scott Danesi, use pops less. It’s not as cool as you think it is.
The upper playfield/ball lock area
The upper playfield is super innovative. It uses optos to create this dope little mini-game where you’re breaking mirrors as you fight Khan. What is it all supposed to mean? You got me, but it sure as hell is fun. It’s also worth mentioning that the magnetic ball lock mechanic on the sanctum shot is cool. It’s like a phantom hand that grabs your ball just as it’s starting to fall back down toward the flippers. That’s a nice little touch, something that Alec Baldwin probably knows nothing about.
I can’t say this any clearer: You should buy Nudge The Shadow ASAP.
Anyway, I could go on all day about this, but here’s what I really want to say. Y’all this game rules and we want one. For real. Make our dreams come true and give it to us. Or buy one for your own basement, that’s fine too. Just drop a pin on google maps, we’ll be over in a sec. AND WE ARE BRINGIN A SHADOW-THEMED BONG. Who knows what dankness lurks in the lungs of men? It’s time to rage, ya goofenbachers.
