Scott Danesi on the sexy history of the Sexy Men of Pinball Calendar
It’s no secret that pinball art notoriously caters to horny guys. Some people have even said we do it sometimes! (Gasp!) But when you look at Big Juicy Melons, Big Guns, and literally any of those horny games that were made in Spain, you start to notice a pattern: it’s like 99.9999% about the boyz. And look, I get it! I love boobs, guys. Frickin’ love ‘em. On record. And yet!
I don’t want this article to be about the “discourse” at all or about gendered views in pinball, because yes we know. But ALSO that IS part of the joke here, right? These guys were like, fine, if we ARE going to objectify women, the least we could do is objectify men too. Objectify their sexy lil’ asses all up and down this joint. And the results – well, to me they are undeniably a mix of hilarious, and sometimes strangely arousing, expressions of male sexuality.
Is it ridiculous? Yes. Is it horny? Well, I’d imagine there’s some market for SOME of this, but taken as a whole this thing is a parody – which means in big dumb pinball guy terms it is JUST SOME FRICKIN FUN. So let’s get into it.
Oopsies! It started as an accident!
Like all great endeavors – penicillin, LSD, etc – The Men of Pinball Calendar started on accident. Some of the folks at Pinball Life, the notoriously awesome pinball parts supplier with heavy ties to the Pinball Olympics community (Jay Brand), thought it would be fun to do a calendar. They needed a theme – and obviously the idea which came from an unlikely person, Margaret Dezwrte.
Margaret and her husband, Terry Dezwarte, own Pinball Life, a successful online pinball parts supplier. Margaret was at the office and saw a funny picture of one of their employees, a man named Robot, using a vice grip on a pinball leg (which you’d never actually do) and generally looking pretty overall beefy.
The beefcake heard round the world. The shot that started a revolution.
“Margaret was like, ‘we should do a calendar’ as a joke in the moment, then we just ran with it,” says Scott Danesi, his voice impish over the phone. Scott has become a good friend in a short amount of time. On top of being a pinball designer, sound designer, and DJ, he’s found time to personally introduce me to a lot of people in the pinball community, including the dudes at Pinball Olympics.
Those connections have meant a lot both because it’s helped me with Nudge, but also because Scott just does it because he loves connecting new friends, especially ones that do weird fun stuff just because they can. It is impish enthusiasm that reminds me of my best friendships in middle school. It’s like he still sees the world pretty fresh.
And so I know two things about Scott: he’s great at motivating people, and he loves doing fun, nonsense that pokes fun at the pinball “establishment”. This definitely checked both boxes. It got his friends taking funny, horny pictures of each other, AND it made fun of the sexy ladies in pinball trope that was decades-long cliche. Win-win!
Are the pictures sexy?
I’ll include several that are social media appropriate, but it’s fair to say that these pics run the gamut of “hunky guy” to “straight up basically porno”. That being said, it’s probably not something you want to hang in your office, unless your company has no HR department and you like to live fast and loose with the social mores of modern society.
Scott explains that creativity is the most important part of any prospective Pinball Man’s calendar submission, not how much dong you’re hanging.
“We don’t wanna see actual penisis,” Danesi tells me. “If they’re wearing tight Umbro shorts and you can see the whole thing, and I mean everything, then sure, that’s fine. But we don’t wanna see actual penisis.”
How these hunks get their shot at the big time
These days, Pinball Life gets dozens of submissions from hopeful models. Since they’re now going into their fourth year, they have the process down to a science.
“We have a huge whiteboard,” Danesi says. “And Margaret puts all the pictures on it and we just look at them for a long time, and everyone debates about which ones are best… but the cover is always the biggest argument. That’s when people stand up and really argue.”
Things can get rowdy as folks jockey for their favorites, Scott says, but it’s ultimately a consensus for the group. When I ask if there’s any consideration about who goes with what month – he laughs in my face. Like, no of course not. I’m like, Damn scott. Well, I’d want my birthday month, for one. Maybe someone else is in charge of that.
It’s actually extremely functional as a pinball calendar
The most surprising part about the calendar for me was not the amount of ass crack, but the amount of important pinball dates that are included in the calendar itself. I assume since Pinball Life is run by folks who are so attached to the community, but this calendar has pinball related dates damn near every weekend. From big stuff like MGC and TPF to more fun and small events like Pinball at the Zoo in Michigan, damn near every month is chocked full of stuff you COULD go to. That’s extremely useful for folks who are new to the hobby. Sure, you’re going to get the jolt of your life when turning the page and being assaulted with a randy pinball firefighter (I’m looking at you October 2024), but it’s a small price to pay for knowing about the White Rose Gameroom show on October 10th. You know? Life is complicated.
Wanna be a Pinball Hottie? Submit to Pinball Life by October 27th
While the 2025 calendar is all sold out, Pinball Life is currently taking submissions for its 2026 calendar. You don’t have much time before the October 27th due date, so get it together, do a couple of quick crunches, and find an old EM to get weird with. And as for the new calendar? Expect it to go on the website in time for the holiday season. Pinball Life only prints a hundred of these every year, so get them while they’re, uh, hot.
